Aloha,
A lot has happened since this psych-in-training last spoke. I moved out of my old house, got an adorable kit-eh, and said goodbye to my ex. As one door closes another opens; I got an amazing job at Hawaii State Hospital.
At the Aloha Garden, we work on Hawaiian cultural values such as Lokahi, Kuleana, and Laulima. We try to present these values in ourselves and model them to the clients. We work in the recovery model to allow clients to grow and change. Our therapy is very different than traditional Western methods because we work alongside the clients in the garden as we weed, water, and cook. We have Occupational Therapists that come down to the garden to run classes. The clients themselves behave very differently than on the units. Many of them note 'The garden is the reason I chose to be at the hospital instead of in jail.' Hearing this makes me realize how effective the therapy is. My supervisor is doing a follow-up study in the community to see if the Aloha Garden improves the recidivism rate for previous offenders... I certainly believe that she will come up with some good numbers.
Aloha For Now,
Rachael
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Time To Go It Alone....
More adjustments! Grrr... will this year ever end? Anyways, my boyfriend Glenn couldn't find a job here in Hawaii that he liked. He felt there were no opportunities for him, and so he is going back to San Francisco. We have talked about splitting up, and it looks like it will happen.
In adittion, I also have to find a new place to live by the end of the month, and move out of my place.
Sigh... will the grad school madness let up? I certainly hope it will at least prove useful to me in my future career.
In adittion, I also have to find a new place to live by the end of the month, and move out of my place.
Sigh... will the grad school madness let up? I certainly hope it will at least prove useful to me in my future career.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
A Difficult Turn of Events...
Unfortunatly, the organization I work for cannot support part time GRA-ships anymore. I was promised to work for them for four years, and I only got to do one. In addition, my advisor wants me to change over before next year to a different one, because he is going to lose his job too :(
Thankfully, I will still be working at Hawaii State Hospital, albeit for free. Also, they gave me a few months' notice. I had to take out a great deal of loan money to cover my non-resident tuition. My idea of going through school without debts now seems pretty ridiculous. I love UH's program but I am worried about having to change advisors mid-year, and all of the drama of finding funding. This is the reality of grad school... one day at a time.
Thankfully, I will still be working at Hawaii State Hospital, albeit for free. Also, they gave me a few months' notice. I had to take out a great deal of loan money to cover my non-resident tuition. My idea of going through school without debts now seems pretty ridiculous. I love UH's program but I am worried about having to change advisors mid-year, and all of the drama of finding funding. This is the reality of grad school... one day at a time.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Beautiful Hanauma Bay...
I was lucky enough to see this wonder of the natural world on Sunday. The bay, curved like an oar, earned it the name 'Haunama' hundreds of years ago. Now transformed into a snorkler's paradise, it is a thousand times less garish than the beaches of Waikiki. Even with the twenty minute educational video, and the unappetising prospect of hanging with tourists, it truly was the best snorkeling experience I have ever had.
The waves break fiercely upon the rocks, and to go out there you have to have fins of steel, but Glenn and I braved the underwater storm. Once there, I saw images of indescrible beauty. The triggerfish were about four to five feet long. The parrotfish were huge images of the scrawny creatures in Waikiki, about four to five feet as well. Everything seemed beautifully megafauna-esque. The overfishing and polution in Waikiki does not allow the fish to grow as big as they are here, I suppose.
The most wonderful part of the Haunamabay exeperience was the sea turtle I observed for a full ten minutes. These wonderful animals are small and agile swimmers, and very docile. Underwater, one can swim right next to them without disturbing them. The coral was alive, and healthy, and bright yellow, and to see the turtle feasting off sea grass right next to it was a psychadelic light show of yellows and greens.
Glenn enjoyed the live mongeese even more than the fish I think! We heard hissing, turned around, and there were the little Rikki-Tikki-Tavis that I had never seen before. Ferret-like, but much furrier and longer of body, they truly were amazing. They were rooting in the trash cans like raccoons (that were thousands of times cuter).
I long to return to what is so far my favorite spot on the island.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Data Update
Aloha,
I am finishing up my work with the Hawaii AMHD Conditional Release Report. It is fascinating for me to see the way the Hawaiian legal system is run. It is very sad to me that the main course of mental health is through arrest and the jail system. I am finding out very interesting things about people on Conditional Release throughout the island, including quality of life and diagnosis data. I will let you in the blogospere know when it is finished!!
I am finishing up my work with the Hawaii AMHD Conditional Release Report. It is fascinating for me to see the way the Hawaiian legal system is run. It is very sad to me that the main course of mental health is through arrest and the jail system. I am finding out very interesting things about people on Conditional Release throughout the island, including quality of life and diagnosis data. I will let you in the blogospere know when it is finished!!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Difficult (But Worthwhile) Summer Reading...
'The Kindly Ones'- Jonathon Littel
I am a squeamish reader by trade. I couldn't even make it through 'American Psycho.' So why did a book that read similarly to this but dealt with Nazi atrocities during WWII intrigue me so? I think it had to do with the mastery of Jonathon Littel, who penned this epic novel. I truly think anyone interested in either this war, the legal system, or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder should read this amazing book at once.
Since I am from a strictly Jewish family, and my grandmother is a survivor, I have heard only heartbreaking and anguishing tales about the Holocaust. The Holocaust is reffered to now almost as some sort of unbelievable event, or some maudlin tale, or else it is used in unfair historical comparisons such as "Bush was Hitler." Mind you, Bush was a fool of a man, certainly, but he did not believe in mass genocide of an entire "race" of people.
"The Kindly Ones" strips away all the nonsense about the actual events of war, and tells it EXACTLY like it is. Littell researched extensively for five years, and the narrative covers the beginning of the war in Germany all the way to its end. The protagonist argues at the beginning that "I am a man, just like you!" To argue for the "humanity" of the narrator, an effete SS Soldier who is homosexual and likes to read Flaubert while marching, Little gives the readers two sides of an enigmatic and tortured soul who at the end of the novel is simply making lace at a Parisan factory, living out a farce of a marriage and a generally boring life.
What divides critics on the novel is not, in fact, the painstaking detail given to the beauracracy of the SS and the Jewish atrocities. Rather, it is the "humanizing" of the protagonist by giving him family issues, severe PTSD, and sexual practices that most people would rather not read about, thus giving it the unfortunate label of "Nazi Porn." I think, however, that this objection to the novel is extremely unfair. What could be more inhuman then having no desires, or fears, or secrets, no matter how loathsome they may be? As a psychologist, I was perhaps not as offended by some at the protagonists' shameful actitivies. Rather, as the book progressed towards more and more surreal fantasies, I was taken with how accurate this view of repressed sexuality could be. In addittion, having worked around severe PTSD people even today with the Iraq war, nothing could be more relevant than the effects of severe PTSD that the protagonist experiences, although the degree of it is exaggerrated for effect.
The truth of the matter is that people have these doubts because the book argues two (seemingly contradictory things): 1. The Germans were not evil, because they were merely acting in a manner that they believed to be right. 2. The SS soldiers harbored secrets that turned them into monsters. However, a good look into these arguements shows them both to be true. 'The Kindly Ones' argues simply that if a nation, or a person, commits a crime, no matter how unspeakable, then he/she should be judged according to all the facts. If they are guilty, then they should be punished. However, some who commit unspeakable crimes will always escape the axe... but they will not escape themselves. The fall out from World War II has had a profound effect on the German cultural psyche, and indeed there was a time when it was impossible for the Holocaust to even be taught in schools to German schoolchildren. As Shakespeare (and Littel) argue, "All are punished." Whether the punishment is psychological, physical, cultural, or otherwise, the solution of murder always has a price.
These digressions aside, the protagonist caught in a Greek tragedy of his own making is clearly a metaphor for Germany itself. As he falls into delusions and madness, so does the Third Reich come crumbling down around his ears.In the beginning of the book he is certain about his ideas and the solution for killing Jews, at the end he is no longer so sure that he did the right thing. And in the end, punishment does come for him (but not in the way he expected.) Germany was torn in two by the end of the war, but for many the axe never fell upon them. For the clever, the crafty, and the desperate, there was always another way to find a meal (as evidenced by the sinister Dr. Mandelbrod in the book.) Like Germany, the narrator finds a way to return to peace and quiet, but is always haunted by the past, which has set a hold in him and never lets him free.
In conclusion, if you want to read a different kind of WWII story, something that you may have never thought of considering before, 'The Kindly Ones' is an excellent book to start. Having read this work of fiction, I now feel that I am truly ready to read far more horrifying works, such as Mein Kamp, simply because they are true.
I am a squeamish reader by trade. I couldn't even make it through 'American Psycho.' So why did a book that read similarly to this but dealt with Nazi atrocities during WWII intrigue me so? I think it had to do with the mastery of Jonathon Littel, who penned this epic novel. I truly think anyone interested in either this war, the legal system, or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder should read this amazing book at once.
Since I am from a strictly Jewish family, and my grandmother is a survivor, I have heard only heartbreaking and anguishing tales about the Holocaust. The Holocaust is reffered to now almost as some sort of unbelievable event, or some maudlin tale, or else it is used in unfair historical comparisons such as "Bush was Hitler." Mind you, Bush was a fool of a man, certainly, but he did not believe in mass genocide of an entire "race" of people.
"The Kindly Ones" strips away all the nonsense about the actual events of war, and tells it EXACTLY like it is. Littell researched extensively for five years, and the narrative covers the beginning of the war in Germany all the way to its end. The protagonist argues at the beginning that "I am a man, just like you!" To argue for the "humanity" of the narrator, an effete SS Soldier who is homosexual and likes to read Flaubert while marching, Little gives the readers two sides of an enigmatic and tortured soul who at the end of the novel is simply making lace at a Parisan factory, living out a farce of a marriage and a generally boring life.
What divides critics on the novel is not, in fact, the painstaking detail given to the beauracracy of the SS and the Jewish atrocities. Rather, it is the "humanizing" of the protagonist by giving him family issues, severe PTSD, and sexual practices that most people would rather not read about, thus giving it the unfortunate label of "Nazi Porn." I think, however, that this objection to the novel is extremely unfair. What could be more inhuman then having no desires, or fears, or secrets, no matter how loathsome they may be? As a psychologist, I was perhaps not as offended by some at the protagonists' shameful actitivies. Rather, as the book progressed towards more and more surreal fantasies, I was taken with how accurate this view of repressed sexuality could be. In addittion, having worked around severe PTSD people even today with the Iraq war, nothing could be more relevant than the effects of severe PTSD that the protagonist experiences, although the degree of it is exaggerrated for effect.
The truth of the matter is that people have these doubts because the book argues two (seemingly contradictory things): 1. The Germans were not evil, because they were merely acting in a manner that they believed to be right. 2. The SS soldiers harbored secrets that turned them into monsters. However, a good look into these arguements shows them both to be true. 'The Kindly Ones' argues simply that if a nation, or a person, commits a crime, no matter how unspeakable, then he/she should be judged according to all the facts. If they are guilty, then they should be punished. However, some who commit unspeakable crimes will always escape the axe... but they will not escape themselves. The fall out from World War II has had a profound effect on the German cultural psyche, and indeed there was a time when it was impossible for the Holocaust to even be taught in schools to German schoolchildren. As Shakespeare (and Littel) argue, "All are punished." Whether the punishment is psychological, physical, cultural, or otherwise, the solution of murder always has a price.
These digressions aside, the protagonist caught in a Greek tragedy of his own making is clearly a metaphor for Germany itself. As he falls into delusions and madness, so does the Third Reich come crumbling down around his ears.In the beginning of the book he is certain about his ideas and the solution for killing Jews, at the end he is no longer so sure that he did the right thing. And in the end, punishment does come for him (but not in the way he expected.) Germany was torn in two by the end of the war, but for many the axe never fell upon them. For the clever, the crafty, and the desperate, there was always another way to find a meal (as evidenced by the sinister Dr. Mandelbrod in the book.) Like Germany, the narrator finds a way to return to peace and quiet, but is always haunted by the past, which has set a hold in him and never lets him free.
In conclusion, if you want to read a different kind of WWII story, something that you may have never thought of considering before, 'The Kindly Ones' is an excellent book to start. Having read this work of fiction, I now feel that I am truly ready to read far more horrifying works, such as Mein Kamp, simply because they are true.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
FIRST FRIDAY DJING!
Come out and see me!
6-7 pm, outside Mercury Bar, KTUH Booth.
I will play Flosstradamus!!
<3
6-7 pm, outside Mercury Bar, KTUH Booth.
I will play Flosstradamus!!
<3
Thursday, June 25, 2009
PIKTURES
I uploaded a lot of pics from San Francisco and from Las Vegas and Utah.... the ultimate vacation. They can be found at: www.facebook.com/rpolokoff
Monday, June 15, 2009
MUSIC BLOGGGG
Also,
I have a new KTUH playlist BLOG. Like to hear it, hear it goes....
http://storiesfromthecityktuh.blogspot.com/
I have a new KTUH playlist BLOG. Like to hear it, hear it goes....
http://storiesfromthecityktuh.blogspot.com/
A Summer/Birthday Vacation.....
Aloha all!
I am back from San Francisco and rejuvenated as can be. Several things have happened, all of which are pretty awesome and amazing.
(1) I moved in with Glenn in a little appartment in Waikiki. It is so much fun living together!! I love him and we have a lot of fun (despite our standards of cleaning being lax by anyone's standards.)
(2) I found Randall hill at last! I was walking from the Haight to the Castro and meandered around up the tallest of hill on Masonic, finally finding my way to Randall Hill Park! I couldn't believe it when I reached the rocks at the top, especially in my snazzy non hike-friendly boots.
(3) I saw old friends Hugh, David, Amy, and Brian again. I love them all!
(4) I saw Kim and Jacob from Nightmare Drum Song again! They were so much fun to hang out with.
(5) I met Vice Cooler from Hawnay Troof and XBXRX for the 2nd time. We went to a noise show in Berekeley and my eardrums were literally blown out for two days. It was beyond amazing. "Lemon Pretend" are another name to look out for. Jacob, who is friends with Vice, noted that he actually changed his name legally to "Vicente Coolerius."
(6) I got some awesome birthday cash and a new dress from Cinnamon Girl!
(7) Mom and I went to Vegas and stayed at the MGM Signature Hotel, Penthouse Suite, which was pimped out to the max and was larger than my entire office.
(8) I lost fourty bucks on the slots :)
(9) I went with Mom to a destination spa in Utah called "Red Mountain Spa." My Mom complained about the food and she got a dirty fork, mean waiter style ;) Don't mess with a waiter I say!
(10) We went hiking, kayaking, and horsebacking riding in the gorgeous desert of Snow Canyon!
(11) Upon my return I saw "Up" in 3d at the Castro Theatre.
(12) I took about twenty billion pictures that I can't upload until we get internet in our appartment.
(13) My birthday on the 13th yielded food and fun at Dave and Busters, followed by an Asterisk reunion at Toma Kareoke!
And that's all I will say about my wonderful vacation... in this post. Back to da grind.
I am back from San Francisco and rejuvenated as can be. Several things have happened, all of which are pretty awesome and amazing.
(1) I moved in with Glenn in a little appartment in Waikiki. It is so much fun living together!! I love him and we have a lot of fun (despite our standards of cleaning being lax by anyone's standards.)
(2) I found Randall hill at last! I was walking from the Haight to the Castro and meandered around up the tallest of hill on Masonic, finally finding my way to Randall Hill Park! I couldn't believe it when I reached the rocks at the top, especially in my snazzy non hike-friendly boots.
(3) I saw old friends Hugh, David, Amy, and Brian again. I love them all!
(4) I saw Kim and Jacob from Nightmare Drum Song again! They were so much fun to hang out with.
(5) I met Vice Cooler from Hawnay Troof and XBXRX for the 2nd time. We went to a noise show in Berekeley and my eardrums were literally blown out for two days. It was beyond amazing. "Lemon Pretend" are another name to look out for. Jacob, who is friends with Vice, noted that he actually changed his name legally to "Vicente Coolerius."
(6) I got some awesome birthday cash and a new dress from Cinnamon Girl!
(7) Mom and I went to Vegas and stayed at the MGM Signature Hotel, Penthouse Suite, which was pimped out to the max and was larger than my entire office.
(8) I lost fourty bucks on the slots :)
(9) I went with Mom to a destination spa in Utah called "Red Mountain Spa." My Mom complained about the food and she got a dirty fork, mean waiter style ;) Don't mess with a waiter I say!
(10) We went hiking, kayaking, and horsebacking riding in the gorgeous desert of Snow Canyon!
(11) Upon my return I saw "Up" in 3d at the Castro Theatre.
(12) I took about twenty billion pictures that I can't upload until we get internet in our appartment.
(13) My birthday on the 13th yielded food and fun at Dave and Busters, followed by an Asterisk reunion at Toma Kareoke!
And that's all I will say about my wonderful vacation... in this post. Back to da grind.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
I CAN HAZ NEW RADIO SHOW!!
I have been awarded a radio show on KTUH. This totally does not add to my new "professional" outlook on life, as my academic supervisor suggested. But for my love of cheesy indie and twee music, I argue mentally, I would probably not have a life at all :)
The show is called "Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea," and features a Honolulu/SF/Edinburgh bent on indie music, as only teh Rach can give. My DJ name is the ADHDJ. Yep, i'm taking it back.
Everyone listen in! Monday 12pm-3pm. www.ktuh.org
<3 <3 <3
The show is called "Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea," and features a Honolulu/SF/Edinburgh bent on indie music, as only teh Rach can give. My DJ name is the ADHDJ. Yep, i'm taking it back.
Everyone listen in! Monday 12pm-3pm. www.ktuh.org
<3 <3 <3
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Behaviorists Show Their Training....
... And a student falls, only to be lifted up again. Friends, I got a "C" in Assessment, due to my poor choice of working in Waikiki for tourists during finals week. Ah, the perils of money! Due to this, my academic advisor took my practicuum away, as well as making me repeat the entire Assesment series over again! (And she falls to her knees). "NOOOOOO!"
But wait, there's hope. After a heartfelt appeal to the hearts of behaviorists who know only how to shape and mold professionalism, somehow I emerged on top again. The compromise being... my practicuum was given back to me!
Now I will be working at Hawaii State Hospital next year. I was the only student out of ten accepted for this prestigious position...working with some of the most difficult population in all of Oahu, that of criminals with Severe and Persistant Mental Illnesses.
My friends, I know I can do it. This setback was only one in a series that I have known. It is sad that my choices are sometimes poor. I listen to my heart but it sings the wrong song.
So now its shape up or give up. Science must take priority. I am so grateful I have loved ones that support me, as well as even behavorist advisors who are willing to give me another chance.
This time, I'll keep my eyes ahead.
But wait, there's hope. After a heartfelt appeal to the hearts of behaviorists who know only how to shape and mold professionalism, somehow I emerged on top again. The compromise being... my practicuum was given back to me!
Now I will be working at Hawaii State Hospital next year. I was the only student out of ten accepted for this prestigious position...working with some of the most difficult population in all of Oahu, that of criminals with Severe and Persistant Mental Illnesses.
My friends, I know I can do it. This setback was only one in a series that I have known. It is sad that my choices are sometimes poor. I listen to my heart but it sings the wrong song.
So now its shape up or give up. Science must take priority. I am so grateful I have loved ones that support me, as well as even behavorist advisors who are willing to give me another chance.
This time, I'll keep my eyes ahead.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Assesment + Rachael =FAIL.
Aloha all,
It's been a while. So the conference went well... some liked my poster, some didn't. In any case, all agreed that the work was good. What I didn't realize was how badly I could get behind due to a conference. I got really behind in the one thing I really needed to focus on in our 'super-research-yay!' program... Assessment.
Now I have no problem with certain types of Assesment... the WMS-III, the WAIS-IV, the SCID (which I particularly love)... but I have problems with the godamn MMPI.
Why should personality disorders be categorical anyway?? Everyone with a brain agrees they should be dimensional, with the five factor model of traits... hopefully DSM-V will be better.
However, I blew an entire interview because I didn't study the MMPI. Now I will not be working at Hawaii State Hospital.
AND I blew an entire draft of a psychological report because I reported the 'raw scores' instead of the 'T scores.'
MMPI, why must you be the death of me??
I hope this semester ends soon... and that I somehow master the fine of art of assesment.
XXXADHDJXXX
It's been a while. So the conference went well... some liked my poster, some didn't. In any case, all agreed that the work was good. What I didn't realize was how badly I could get behind due to a conference. I got really behind in the one thing I really needed to focus on in our 'super-research-yay!' program... Assessment.
Now I have no problem with certain types of Assesment... the WMS-III, the WAIS-IV, the SCID (which I particularly love)... but I have problems with the godamn MMPI.
Why should personality disorders be categorical anyway?? Everyone with a brain agrees they should be dimensional, with the five factor model of traits... hopefully DSM-V will be better.
However, I blew an entire interview because I didn't study the MMPI. Now I will not be working at Hawaii State Hospital.
AND I blew an entire draft of a psychological report because I reported the 'raw scores' instead of the 'T scores.'
MMPI, why must you be the death of me??
I hope this semester ends soon... and that I somehow master the fine of art of assesment.
XXXADHDJXXX
Monday, April 13, 2009
AMHD Conference Tomorrow!
Oh dear lord, why does my poster look like a sixth grade science project?
Seriously though, I'm so excited to be presenting my poster at the AMHD "Best Practices" conferences at Ala Moana Center tomorrow!
This will be my first poster ever presented at a scientific conference.
It is about persons on conditional release status living in the Hawaii community. Generally we see them having more severe psychopathology than the rest of the AMHD population. Sadly, they have less contact with their families too :(
Here's hoping I do well!
Seriously though, I'm so excited to be presenting my poster at the AMHD "Best Practices" conferences at Ala Moana Center tomorrow!
This will be my first poster ever presented at a scientific conference.
It is about persons on conditional release status living in the Hawaii community. Generally we see them having more severe psychopathology than the rest of the AMHD population. Sadly, they have less contact with their families too :(
Here's hoping I do well!
Monday, April 6, 2009
DJing, a Scott-an Day....
Wow, KTUH Mondays are kind of fun!! I wake up and DJ at 4:30-6am, then I go back and sub the 12-3 pm Rock Slot!! Talk about avoiding grad school, the only way I know how ;)
On a positive note, my talk on Somatoform Disorders went quite well.
On another positive note, Glenn and I went to the Scottish Highland Festival at Kapiolani Park yesterday! It was so much fun and I threw a frying pan thirty feet! It was actually the worst throw of the entire Highland Games competition. Some Hawiian ladies felt bad for me and told me I was the sexiest one up there, but that didn't really help my throwing self-esteem! After this we left to go see "Evangelion 1.0: You Are Not Alone." I LOVED IT. But then I'm a big EVA fan! The film basically just redid the first five episodes with pretty graphics, and apparently it made some girl throw up her Pop Roxxx outside the theater, but it nearly made me weep. Ah the old interactions of Shinji and Misato and Penn-Penn and Rei. I felt a bit cheated that Asuka, my favorite character, wasn't even in this one, but hopefully next time! Thus Glennichiwa and I ended our Scotland-Japan (Scot-tan) day, and I was so glad to have had a Sunday off work!!
On a positive note, my talk on Somatoform Disorders went quite well.
On another positive note, Glenn and I went to the Scottish Highland Festival at Kapiolani Park yesterday! It was so much fun and I threw a frying pan thirty feet! It was actually the worst throw of the entire Highland Games competition. Some Hawiian ladies felt bad for me and told me I was the sexiest one up there, but that didn't really help my throwing self-esteem! After this we left to go see "Evangelion 1.0: You Are Not Alone." I LOVED IT. But then I'm a big EVA fan! The film basically just redid the first five episodes with pretty graphics, and apparently it made some girl throw up her Pop Roxxx outside the theater, but it nearly made me weep. Ah the old interactions of Shinji and Misato and Penn-Penn and Rei. I felt a bit cheated that Asuka, my favorite character, wasn't even in this one, but hopefully next time! Thus Glennichiwa and I ended our Scotland-Japan (Scot-tan) day, and I was so glad to have had a Sunday off work!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
"I Ran Over My Drummer, Baby, Everybody Watch Out!"
I think this may be the best line of any song ever. What ever happened to John Spencer, anyway? Did he like, kick the bucket or something? I hope not. So the ensuing bliss of my life now is of no shock to any of you. I love Glenn and am so happy he is here. I saw my friend Molly get married last Sunday while a full bluegrass band played! It was one of the best times at Asterisk EVER. I must admit that life feels brighter again. Work is still difficult, and I have a poster coming up at the AMHD's "Best Practices" Convention that I am totally NOT ready to present, but we will see. Honolulu feels so right right now.
PS I saw John Locke on the North Shore. He looked good for a guy his age.
PS I saw John Locke on the North Shore. He looked good for a guy his age.
Monday, March 23, 2009
My Life As A Single Girl....
...Is coming to an end. Tomorrow Glenn will be at my side. Who knows what the future will hold for us here? I think we are going to have to wait and see. Glenn is an endless reserve of patience, so I know that whenever the going gets rough he will be there for me. I expect I will attempt the same, though who knows if I can ever get my argumentative tendencies gone? In any case, I suspect it will be a wonderful adventure for both of us. I have never lived with someone in my entire life, and I feel this a big step that I am finally ready to take.
Here's hoping, universe.
Here's hoping, universe.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Superferry goes DOWN!
Hooray! I am happy that beauracracy did not triumph over the necessity for environmental laws. It is highly probable that the Ferry is more enviornmentally sound than flying, however until we know for sure we should never allow for an unstudied mode of transportation. Many humpack whales could be affected, certainly.
"GREG SMALL – 15 hours ago
HONOLULU (AP) — The operator of the first passenger-vehicle ferry between major Hawaiian islands will stop its service after a court ruled it unfairly was allowed to bypass an environmental review.
Hawaii Superferry said Monday night it has decided "to cease operations for the present" in the wake of the state Supreme Court ruling.
The Superferry, a car and passenger service that links Oahu and Maui and hopes to expand, has been under fire from critics who argue the use of 350-foot catamaran could harm whales and damage the area's fragile ecology.
"While the appeal is not yet final because a judgment on appeal has not been entered, we want to proceed prudently and have decided to cease operations for the present," the company said in a statement. "We will make one additional round trip to get vehicles back to their homes this Thursday."
In light of the high court's decision, the Superferry must stop operation until the study is completed, said Isaac Hall, an attorney representing three groups that challenged the Superferry in court.
The state had exempted the Superferry from environmental review in 2005. But the Supreme Court later ruled that an environmental study was needed before the vessel could operate.
That prompted the Legislature to convened in special session in 2007 and pass a law enabling the Superferry to run while an environmental assessment was drafted. But the court on Monday argued that the law was unconstitutional, and sent the case back to Circuit Court.
Attorney General Mark Bennett said the administration is not considering an appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court because there is no federal issue, but the court could be asked to reconsider its decision.
Before the company's announcement, Gov. Linda Lingle had said it would be "devastating for the Superferry to stop its operation."
The 350-foot Alakai, which can seat up to 800 passengers and carry about 200 vehicles, has operated since December 2007. The ferry was built by Austal USA in Mobile, Ala.
Lingle expressed no regret with her administration's original decision to grant the Superferry an exemption from state environmental review laws.
"We know from the beginning we were correct and accurate," she said. "We've been able to provide a great service the people of Maui and Oahu, one that they've come to appreciate and in some cases, to depend upon."
State Sen. Kalani English, D-East Maui-Lanai-Molokai, who voted against the exemption, said he warned at the time it was unconstitutional special legislation. English said the company could have avoided the problem if it had agreed to an environmental impact statement from the start.
"If they did that, none of this would have happened," he told The Honolulu Advertiser.
Earlier this month, the state House quashed a bill that would have allowed Superferry more time for completion of the environmental review. So the assessment must be completed by late June.
It's unclear if a new environmental review is needed or if the state and Superferry can use work that has already been done."
"GREG SMALL – 15 hours ago
HONOLULU (AP) — The operator of the first passenger-vehicle ferry between major Hawaiian islands will stop its service after a court ruled it unfairly was allowed to bypass an environmental review.
Hawaii Superferry said Monday night it has decided "to cease operations for the present" in the wake of the state Supreme Court ruling.
The Superferry, a car and passenger service that links Oahu and Maui and hopes to expand, has been under fire from critics who argue the use of 350-foot catamaran could harm whales and damage the area's fragile ecology.
"While the appeal is not yet final because a judgment on appeal has not been entered, we want to proceed prudently and have decided to cease operations for the present," the company said in a statement. "We will make one additional round trip to get vehicles back to their homes this Thursday."
In light of the high court's decision, the Superferry must stop operation until the study is completed, said Isaac Hall, an attorney representing three groups that challenged the Superferry in court.
The state had exempted the Superferry from environmental review in 2005. But the Supreme Court later ruled that an environmental study was needed before the vessel could operate.
That prompted the Legislature to convened in special session in 2007 and pass a law enabling the Superferry to run while an environmental assessment was drafted. But the court on Monday argued that the law was unconstitutional, and sent the case back to Circuit Court.
Attorney General Mark Bennett said the administration is not considering an appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court because there is no federal issue, but the court could be asked to reconsider its decision.
Before the company's announcement, Gov. Linda Lingle had said it would be "devastating for the Superferry to stop its operation."
The 350-foot Alakai, which can seat up to 800 passengers and carry about 200 vehicles, has operated since December 2007. The ferry was built by Austal USA in Mobile, Ala.
Lingle expressed no regret with her administration's original decision to grant the Superferry an exemption from state environmental review laws.
"We know from the beginning we were correct and accurate," she said. "We've been able to provide a great service the people of Maui and Oahu, one that they've come to appreciate and in some cases, to depend upon."
State Sen. Kalani English, D-East Maui-Lanai-Molokai, who voted against the exemption, said he warned at the time it was unconstitutional special legislation. English said the company could have avoided the problem if it had agreed to an environmental impact statement from the start.
"If they did that, none of this would have happened," he told The Honolulu Advertiser.
Earlier this month, the state House quashed a bill that would have allowed Superferry more time for completion of the environmental review. So the assessment must be completed by late June.
It's unclear if a new environmental review is needed or if the state and Superferry can use work that has already been done."
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Random Acts of Kindness....
...Mean more to me than anyone can ever know. Thank you, friends, for being there with me through a hard time of adjustment and illness this winter.... I really, really needed it.
Much Love.
Shoots.
Much Love.
Shoots.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
..And Success in Art as Well!
Last night I played solo at Anna Bannanas, which I haven't done in front of a real crowd since Edinburgh. Although many found my stuff cute and enjoyable, I often heard comments like "she can't hold a guitar," etc. Last night, though, I got a TON of positive feedback! Everyone seemed to love my voice, Davey wanted to jam with me, Chris wanted to jam with me, and a lady said I could even have a "career" in folk! I was so happy and fulfilled. I played "Game of Chess," "Video Blue" and "Not for all my little words." I wanted to play my new song, "Two Vipers," but I haven't quite worked it all out. I guess I just don't feel right unless i'm playing music in some way... but once I do, I really feel amazing and alive. To make everything better, Alec, Chris, and even Ali came out to see me, so I feel better about Asterisk too! Hooray!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Sucess at Work !!
Holy frijoles,
My poster was accepted for the AMHD best practices conference!! If you want to see some of my data I would be happy to upload my presentation: "Persons on Conditional Release Living With Severe and Persistant Mental Illness in Hawaii: Characteristics and Quality of Life."
xxxrach
My poster was accepted for the AMHD best practices conference!! If you want to see some of my data I would be happy to upload my presentation: "Persons on Conditional Release Living With Severe and Persistant Mental Illness in Hawaii: Characteristics and Quality of Life."
xxxrach
Monday, March 2, 2009
Working For the Man Every Night and Day...
I must be becoming more and more Hawaiian, because I now work for the hospitality industry. Actually, that's putting it far too glamourously. I work at a stand in the Tapa Bar Hilton on the weekends. Why, you ask? I already get a stipend and free tuition. I work at the Lanakila Health Center and MHSRET under this stipend. The answer is simply: Asterisk rent. So why stay? Well, besides the fact that I am notoriously indecisive about such matters, my boyfriend is finally moving in with me in JUST THREE WEEKS!! We can find a cheaper place after that I assume. I'm looking towards Makiki, because I want windows and plants again, rather than the urban splendour that is Moilili.
As for teh stand, I made 40 bucks a week in tips, so at least I can justify it to myself that I'm ripping off tourists.
Shoots!
As for teh stand, I made 40 bucks a week in tips, so at least I can justify it to myself that I'm ripping off tourists.
Shoots!
Friday, February 20, 2009
"I asked Will, Bonnie Prince Palace, or Whatever, What Do You Think About It?"
..."Is it worth being an indie rock star or are you better off without it?' A line from the classic Jeffrey Lewis "Will Oldham Williamsburg Horror," does not describe to any degree the complete starstruckness that hit me when speaking to the man at his concert two nights previously. As anyone who used to be with me on past radio shows can tell you, I get completely starstruck around people I respect. My friend Alec remarked that he could never see me getting tounge-tied, being that I'm so very talkative, and I laughed and said it was because I didn't respect him that much ;)
But joking aside, thanks to a certain DJ friend of mine I was able to actually go into the KTUH station and speak with him and Emmet Wylie, a country singer from L.A. that he's currently recording with. Mr. Oldham was wearing an orange shirt and shorts that showed his belly and bald head. He seemed strangly at odds with the persona he had crafted over the years: a mysterious, dark, and tortured soul. Rather he was laughing with everyone, smiling broadly at us, "shooting the s--t" with his Mom and me and Davey, whose capo he had used for the in-station show. The new music he played was beautiful: "Beware," and "For Everyone" were among my favorites. The next night he played a lovely subdued gig at the Mercury Bar, where I must admit there wasn't a dry eye in the house. I meekly opened my mouth and squeaked, "Can you play 'A Sucker's Evening' for me, please?" as though I was in the third grade. Perhaps it was the pre-gig meeting at KTUH, but for whatever reason, he complied, and he and Emmett played the best version I have ever heard... wandering, strange, and far more country and howling than the orginal.
I have been to many, many, a show in my young life, but I'd never expected to see the best one here in Honolulu, among the palms and the sand. Another reason to be greatful for life bringing you where you should be, even if sometimes its hard.
But joking aside, thanks to a certain DJ friend of mine I was able to actually go into the KTUH station and speak with him and Emmet Wylie, a country singer from L.A. that he's currently recording with. Mr. Oldham was wearing an orange shirt and shorts that showed his belly and bald head. He seemed strangly at odds with the persona he had crafted over the years: a mysterious, dark, and tortured soul. Rather he was laughing with everyone, smiling broadly at us, "shooting the s--t" with his Mom and me and Davey, whose capo he had used for the in-station show. The new music he played was beautiful: "Beware," and "For Everyone" were among my favorites. The next night he played a lovely subdued gig at the Mercury Bar, where I must admit there wasn't a dry eye in the house. I meekly opened my mouth and squeaked, "Can you play 'A Sucker's Evening' for me, please?" as though I was in the third grade. Perhaps it was the pre-gig meeting at KTUH, but for whatever reason, he complied, and he and Emmett played the best version I have ever heard... wandering, strange, and far more country and howling than the orginal.
I have been to many, many, a show in my young life, but I'd never expected to see the best one here in Honolulu, among the palms and the sand. Another reason to be greatful for life bringing you where you should be, even if sometimes its hard.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
A Whale of a Tale or Two (On Valentine's Day!)
Tis a rare, rare occurence, Blogworld, that I have no date on Valentine's Day. I say this without a trace of arrogance, for I'm well aware of the stupidity of such a holiday. I simply seem to have had throughout my life a certain propensity for romance and the desire to please and be pleased... let's just say that in seinor year, my best friend Amy Garcia and I bet who could would have a boyfriend first so that we would have a date for Valentine's Day, and I won.
But all ancient slaggery aside, I have found my true love, fairly far away Danville and even from Edinburgh (even though we grew up nearly on the same street together) in San Francisco. The Gods decreed that this V day our whale-watching plans would be thwarted, due to the economy sucking and more money needing to be saved for Glenn to move in. So I decided to ask my roomates, the Asterisk Krew, to come with me instead! The results were amazingly wonderful and unexpected.
On the whale cruise, we saw not one, not two, but THREE whales! They were all humpbacks, a mother and baby, as well as the lone escort, helping them make their crucial journey through the Hawaiian waters. And then something wonderful happened. The mother and baby of them actually jumped high in the water, as though dancing, breaching, leaping, and showing us all of their massive bodies in tandem. It was one of the most beautiful moments in my entire life. Alec, Charlie, Sarah, Luke and I smiled and cheered, and felt almost the same the kind of exhiliration one feels when falling in love.
Afterwards it was indie dancing with my other set of friends, including the awesome Lauren, Ryan, Isa, Elegance, Mish, Dean, Matt, and Steph, among others. I simply love dancing with them because they are so unselfconscious, and allow a ditz like me to recite all the lyrics without moving away quietly. Their dancing reminds of the Egg, some three or four years ago, when it was totally OK to just bust a move without feeling like an idiot while mouthing 'House of Jealous Lovers." That song in particular holds a meaning for me, having seen them play it at the top of a ferris wheel when my best friend declared his love for me while on mushrooms... a very surreal experience indeed.
And so that brings us all back to love, my friends. Whether you care for a lover or for a friend, know that this is all you have to do on this Earth, and that you are contributing to the sum of good as opposed to badness.
But all ancient slaggery aside, I have found my true love, fairly far away Danville and even from Edinburgh (even though we grew up nearly on the same street together) in San Francisco. The Gods decreed that this V day our whale-watching plans would be thwarted, due to the economy sucking and more money needing to be saved for Glenn to move in. So I decided to ask my roomates, the Asterisk Krew, to come with me instead! The results were amazingly wonderful and unexpected.
On the whale cruise, we saw not one, not two, but THREE whales! They were all humpbacks, a mother and baby, as well as the lone escort, helping them make their crucial journey through the Hawaiian waters. And then something wonderful happened. The mother and baby of them actually jumped high in the water, as though dancing, breaching, leaping, and showing us all of their massive bodies in tandem. It was one of the most beautiful moments in my entire life. Alec, Charlie, Sarah, Luke and I smiled and cheered, and felt almost the same the kind of exhiliration one feels when falling in love.
Afterwards it was indie dancing with my other set of friends, including the awesome Lauren, Ryan, Isa, Elegance, Mish, Dean, Matt, and Steph, among others. I simply love dancing with them because they are so unselfconscious, and allow a ditz like me to recite all the lyrics without moving away quietly. Their dancing reminds of the Egg, some three or four years ago, when it was totally OK to just bust a move without feeling like an idiot while mouthing 'House of Jealous Lovers." That song in particular holds a meaning for me, having seen them play it at the top of a ferris wheel when my best friend declared his love for me while on mushrooms... a very surreal experience indeed.
And so that brings us all back to love, my friends. Whether you care for a lover or for a friend, know that this is all you have to do on this Earth, and that you are contributing to the sum of good as opposed to badness.
Monday, February 2, 2009
I've Loved You So Long...
I have some new readers and viewers to this worldsphere of mine, so I'd like to do more reviews of things I've done in Honolulu.
Ever since I left my boyfriend and all manner of old friends behind in other parts of the world, I've become a little bit more introspective. Don't get me wrong, I've made lots of friends and have had wonderful times with them on the island. But sometimes, between work and school and music, I need a little bit of "Rach time," corny as that sounds.
Hence, my Kahala 8 Sunday Showtime. I love Kahala 8 theatres because they always show smaller films that the other theatres in Honolulu don't show, and unlike Doris Duke, no one ever goes so its never crowded. I consider Kahala 8 Honolulu's best kept secret... and I love it. Every Sunday I endeavour to see a film, on my own, and to absorb it completely. Normally gregarious, I totally eschew any company that might want to come along, it just seems right to have this time to myself.
Last night I watched "I've Loved You So Long," which was probably my favorite film I've seen this year. I loved it because I intend to be a forensic psychologist, and to work with felons. Here I saw an intimate portrait of a person who is literally stigmatized forever for a decision that she made. A mistake? Perhaps... but one that she must continually suffer for. Her estranged family attempts to be there for her while she tries over and over again to go on living, albeit as self-contained as possible. I don't think very many people understand what it means to never be able to be free of the past. But for the people I worked with, it was the complete sum total of their lives. Hope is so difficult, and desperate, but they still held on... I want to be able to aid this process of recovery as much as possible. I was glad that Juliette had a family to go to, and a social worker (albeit one that she makes fun of), but I was still wondering about the "halfway hosue" situation in France... perhaps they don't have any? Halfway houses help to ease the transition between prison and home, and I fully and totally believe in them. I hope to start a program like that on Hawaii one day, as we currently dont' have one.
But I digress... back to the film at hand. It touched me because the dialogue was so real, and the arguements so universal, but the characters and people brought emotion and love to the story. Of all the reasons to "go on," it seems that love is still the greatest one of all... even though is never even mentioned until the end of the film.
Ever since I left my boyfriend and all manner of old friends behind in other parts of the world, I've become a little bit more introspective. Don't get me wrong, I've made lots of friends and have had wonderful times with them on the island. But sometimes, between work and school and music, I need a little bit of "Rach time," corny as that sounds.
Hence, my Kahala 8 Sunday Showtime. I love Kahala 8 theatres because they always show smaller films that the other theatres in Honolulu don't show, and unlike Doris Duke, no one ever goes so its never crowded. I consider Kahala 8 Honolulu's best kept secret... and I love it. Every Sunday I endeavour to see a film, on my own, and to absorb it completely. Normally gregarious, I totally eschew any company that might want to come along, it just seems right to have this time to myself.
Last night I watched "I've Loved You So Long," which was probably my favorite film I've seen this year. I loved it because I intend to be a forensic psychologist, and to work with felons. Here I saw an intimate portrait of a person who is literally stigmatized forever for a decision that she made. A mistake? Perhaps... but one that she must continually suffer for. Her estranged family attempts to be there for her while she tries over and over again to go on living, albeit as self-contained as possible. I don't think very many people understand what it means to never be able to be free of the past. But for the people I worked with, it was the complete sum total of their lives. Hope is so difficult, and desperate, but they still held on... I want to be able to aid this process of recovery as much as possible. I was glad that Juliette had a family to go to, and a social worker (albeit one that she makes fun of), but I was still wondering about the "halfway hosue" situation in France... perhaps they don't have any? Halfway houses help to ease the transition between prison and home, and I fully and totally believe in them. I hope to start a program like that on Hawaii one day, as we currently dont' have one.
But I digress... back to the film at hand. It touched me because the dialogue was so real, and the arguements so universal, but the characters and people brought emotion and love to the story. Of all the reasons to "go on," it seems that love is still the greatest one of all... even though is never even mentioned until the end of the film.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Tent Communities in Waianae...
http://articles.latimes.com/2006/sep/24/news/adna-oahu24
I found this article fascinating. For the first time, yesterday on a hike to Keana Pt, I saw these communities for myself. Living in San Francisco, I had plenty of experience with homeless people and even worked with them for periods of time. However, I had never seen anything like this. The sheer number of people living on the beaches, or in huts, astounded me, as though I were living in the slums of Johannesberg rather than a U.S state. The tents were sometimes held together with cords, other times there were small huts made of wood and advertisements of 'free soda.'
What would make someone join a tent community? Is it really as terrible as it sounds? What would it mean to be a part of this community? Would someone who had a native ancestry perhaps feel closer to Hawaii, to their people, if they were far away from the cities and towns?
Or is it all about money, all due to the huge crisis of a 10 year high in joblessness that makes families unable to support themseleves and leave no other option?
I really, really want to know what it means to live this kind of life. I am not coming at this from some preachy desire to 'live like common people' or even a voyuerisitc tendency to festishize this other life. Rather I want to know what this culture is, their struggles and necessities, their ability to live and work and the stigma that must come with it. However, I want to do this without acting like some tourist haole who just wants to condemn all homeles for messing up her vacation (I swear, these people exist, read the Advertiser.)
I think I am going to find a way to talk to some people in this situation at Wainae, just so I can learn what it is like.
I found this article fascinating. For the first time, yesterday on a hike to Keana Pt, I saw these communities for myself. Living in San Francisco, I had plenty of experience with homeless people and even worked with them for periods of time. However, I had never seen anything like this. The sheer number of people living on the beaches, or in huts, astounded me, as though I were living in the slums of Johannesberg rather than a U.S state. The tents were sometimes held together with cords, other times there were small huts made of wood and advertisements of 'free soda.'
What would make someone join a tent community? Is it really as terrible as it sounds? What would it mean to be a part of this community? Would someone who had a native ancestry perhaps feel closer to Hawaii, to their people, if they were far away from the cities and towns?
Or is it all about money, all due to the huge crisis of a 10 year high in joblessness that makes families unable to support themseleves and leave no other option?
I really, really want to know what it means to live this kind of life. I am not coming at this from some preachy desire to 'live like common people' or even a voyuerisitc tendency to festishize this other life. Rather I want to know what this culture is, their struggles and necessities, their ability to live and work and the stigma that must come with it. However, I want to do this without acting like some tourist haole who just wants to condemn all homeles for messing up her vacation (I swear, these people exist, read the Advertiser.)
I think I am going to find a way to talk to some people in this situation at Wainae, just so I can learn what it is like.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
We are the Goon Squad and We're Coming To Town (Beep Beep!)...
I just wanted to say to the Blogworld that I was in two issues of the Honolulu fashion magazine, SMART. I have no idea why that makes me so happy, only I don't think I was ever in one in my life before! There is something so brilliant about the close-knit community of Honolulu. You have so many chances to stand out and be unique. Although I haven't lost sight of my grad school focus, living with artists inspires me and makes me want to make better music. My new project, the Patty Chase, is playing on Saturday @ Anna Bannanas and I am really looking forward to it!
Will I ever grow up?
Do I need to?
Will I ever grow up?
Do I need to?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
"I want to be a playboy's bunny...."
The Nun's Litany. Man, that song grows on you, doesn't it? Missing Glenny as per usual makes me feel this particular sassy's sister's pain. True love's a bitch, but then its worth every penny, as they say.
This weekend was uber chilled out after the hi-jinx of last week's first week back. The weather turned dour and a 'storm watch' cancelled school and work yesterday, so it was movie time! Since the 'better-faster-stronger' Alec moved into Asterisk the place has improved about six thousand percent, especially since he's a film buff like me (though his term for me is 'snob.)
We watched 'Big Lebowski,' a golden oldie, followed by Jason's pick 'American Psycho.' Although this is an excellent film, I have to caution anyone against the book, because it's real trash. The only book to get banned in the 90s and for good reason is actually not that shocking- just shockingly dull and tasteless. This essentially interesting satire of the 80s facelessness gets blown through the author's lack of craft into a huge, coke-fueled demon monster paranoia book. It's the literary equivalent of Tricky mixed with Slipnot. Not a good proposition my friends. (Although Ellis' first novel, 'Less than Zero,' was simply excellent.)
The final film before Thai food was 'Lake of Fire,' which I can say is the best documentary I've ever seen. Kaye has a cameraman's eye for shots like Ulrich Seidl, and films all in perfect symmetry and beautiful black and white, even the famed abortion shot itself. Despite my firmly pro-choice views, and all the subsequent pro-life madness following, I simply couldn't get the bloody viscera out of my mind. Highly reccomended.
This is Rach signing off for now, as its sunny and the fish practically call out to be watched on Ft. De Russy, the world's most undderated snorkeling beach.
xxx
This weekend was uber chilled out after the hi-jinx of last week's first week back. The weather turned dour and a 'storm watch' cancelled school and work yesterday, so it was movie time! Since the 'better-faster-stronger' Alec moved into Asterisk the place has improved about six thousand percent, especially since he's a film buff like me (though his term for me is 'snob.)
We watched 'Big Lebowski,' a golden oldie, followed by Jason's pick 'American Psycho.' Although this is an excellent film, I have to caution anyone against the book, because it's real trash. The only book to get banned in the 90s and for good reason is actually not that shocking- just shockingly dull and tasteless. This essentially interesting satire of the 80s facelessness gets blown through the author's lack of craft into a huge, coke-fueled demon monster paranoia book. It's the literary equivalent of Tricky mixed with Slipnot. Not a good proposition my friends. (Although Ellis' first novel, 'Less than Zero,' was simply excellent.)
The final film before Thai food was 'Lake of Fire,' which I can say is the best documentary I've ever seen. Kaye has a cameraman's eye for shots like Ulrich Seidl, and films all in perfect symmetry and beautiful black and white, even the famed abortion shot itself. Despite my firmly pro-choice views, and all the subsequent pro-life madness following, I simply couldn't get the bloody viscera out of my mind. Highly reccomended.
This is Rach signing off for now, as its sunny and the fish practically call out to be watched on Ft. De Russy, the world's most undderated snorkeling beach.
xxx
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Joy Is...
...Recording a song on the synth that sounds like Black storks calling. They have amazing throat patches.
I went to the Honolulu Aquarium and Zoo today, basically just whooped it up tourist-stylee. I was very impressed by the zoo. Lots of Lemurs!! Lemurs!! Lemurs!! Ok, I just thought they were awesome. They have groups of females rather than males, and they looked like 20-somethings chattering and grooming each other just like a bunch of ladies having lunch. It's amazing how simian people can be sometimes... reminds me of that wonderful Will Self satire 'Great Apes.'
Last night at Ross' was much fun. Hilarity ensued with the Justice tour manager 'I'm actually buying a gun' from the 'A Cross the USA' JUSTICE tour record. Elegance took me outside and asked me if I was bulemic, then proceeded to drunkenly justify said question... AWKWARD. I laughed. Do I come off as that insecure? Good lord, I thought I had grown up a little since Edinburgh.... but who knows. I can only be who I am... which is a long way away from my old self-hating behaviors of my teenage years... later he stroked my hair and fell asleep. I felt a strange mixture of compassion and rage.
I miss Glenn but I will live through this time as he comes in April.
I am happy to be back.
I think I'm starting to love Hawaii.
I went to the Honolulu Aquarium and Zoo today, basically just whooped it up tourist-stylee. I was very impressed by the zoo. Lots of Lemurs!! Lemurs!! Lemurs!! Ok, I just thought they were awesome. They have groups of females rather than males, and they looked like 20-somethings chattering and grooming each other just like a bunch of ladies having lunch. It's amazing how simian people can be sometimes... reminds me of that wonderful Will Self satire 'Great Apes.'
Last night at Ross' was much fun. Hilarity ensued with the Justice tour manager 'I'm actually buying a gun' from the 'A Cross the USA' JUSTICE tour record. Elegance took me outside and asked me if I was bulemic, then proceeded to drunkenly justify said question... AWKWARD. I laughed. Do I come off as that insecure? Good lord, I thought I had grown up a little since Edinburgh.... but who knows. I can only be who I am... which is a long way away from my old self-hating behaviors of my teenage years... later he stroked my hair and fell asleep. I felt a strange mixture of compassion and rage.
I miss Glenn but I will live through this time as he comes in April.
I am happy to be back.
I think I'm starting to love Hawaii.
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