END OF TOUR, NEW BEGINNINGS

Do people even 'blog' anymore?

It feels strange coming here. But posts on facebook are lost into the ether of advertisements. Might as well go back to the old suckling teat of blogger.

In my last entry (Election Day, 2016) I stated that I had 'moved home to stay.' Sometimes life throws you curveballs, and sometimes things burn to the ground. After Gh*st Sh*p, and losing five friends, Oakland doesn't feel like home anymore. I'm on the move again, and this time I hope it's for good- finally headed to Los Angeles. I have some excellent friends and family backing me up, and this year I've probably grown more and learned more about who I am then ever before. I find my gaze turned outward, and I believe I've had less navel-staring then ever, but there's always more work to be done. 

Still a psychologist, still an artist, though more of an artist than before.  (Everyone at work calls me 'Dr. P' but I'm forever Rach). 

I am dating someone, although it's far too soon to call it anything but fun and exciting, but it sure is both of those. It's nice to talk music and cartoons again with someone who gets it.  I like that we are friends, and also that we can talk about deep stuff too. 

Original unedited post below: 

All the end of tour feels. Two months, two tours. I can't really express in words how this feels to me, to finally have a tour, and twice in one year. These two months for me have been life-changing in so many ways. I got to bond with my friends on the deepest level possible and play music with some of the most talented people I know. It's been great to see BirdofParadisebecome an act that works live, thanks to the dedication of Elliot Polokoff andDenney Joints on the "Thief EP." It has also been so much fun to let my freak flag fly with improvisational singing and noise performances with Dire Wolves. Recently I somehow managed to have some semblance of work-lyfe balance, but I feel called to this path and I do not know how much longer full-time clinical positions will enable me to live in the best and most authentic way possible. As I move down to Los Angeles I am committed to walking the path as an artist/scientist with heart ('solo los caminos que tienen corazon'). I intend to continue bringing music into my work with patients and sincerely hope that my next position will help me to do this. I intend to buildBirdofParadise into a different kind of act with analogue gear, something I have been meaning to do since its inception. I hope to collaborate with some amazing producers in LA to help me along with this. Last night, I was surrounded by my closest and oldest friends Debbie BardAnnemarie SolanaceStephanie Tien LeeStephan Wyss (among others), along with my new ones in Dire Wolves, and I felt such a love for the Bay Area and everything it has given me. My friends are so patient with me despite my mistakes and I love you all so much, you make my life so rad. I never regret moving back from Hawai'i, despite some of the tragedy that I experienced in Oakland. The friends I lost are with me every day and their memories inspire me to be better. Oakland is strong, authentic and real, and I look forward to seeing it with new eyes when I come back to visit. My family continues to change and all of us have grown closer as adults, which makes visiting my childhood home all the sweeter. As I continue to move forward as an artist and clinician, I hope that Los Angeles will be my final move- the place where I finally put down the roots that I have craved for so long. In the words of PJ Harvey- "one day, I know, we'll find a place called home."

Love to you All,

Rach