4.0 GPA MOTHA F---A!!!
HOORAY!!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
On Channukah, a Jew Speaks Up...
For two days I was with the Waits, aka the 'Whitest Family Alive' celebrating Christmas. It was awesome and beautiful up in the mining country, and I loved playing Clue and opening presents around the tree. I got some weird questions of the 'can you eat this' variety, but generally things were merry and well.
I come back to find Israel has bombed Gaza and the death toll is now close to 200. Mom and I (and she has NEVER agreed with me before on this) spoke out against Israel and said it should have never been created as a state, something that I have believed in from the earliest time I was aware of the state. Despite all of my brainwashing as a child in temple, something seemed rotten in the state of Israel from the very beginning. My holocaust survivor grandmother, unfortunatly, FREAKED OUT. She is now not speaking to either us. She says she feels as if someone punched her in the face.
I only feel sadness because despite my optimism I see that this world is farther away from peace and love than it has ever been. I hate that my people are so blind that they kill innocents on their holiday. The Seven Years War, on Passover, was basically the equivalent of this. We are no better than the murderers we accuse- warmongering animals trying to survive, instead of a human and beautiful people that we have the potential to be. We have the ability to be the most humane of all- forever hunted and wiped out- but we are acting like fools and I am ashamed.
If that wasn't bad enough, we got a Wii and my mom and I were playing DDR all last night. I wake up this morning to find that the military is going to use Wii technology to create little 'killbots.'
Let's all sing the Doom Song....
I know people are good....
I only wish they weren't equally evil, at a time when they are supposed to feel love.
I come back to find Israel has bombed Gaza and the death toll is now close to 200. Mom and I (and she has NEVER agreed with me before on this) spoke out against Israel and said it should have never been created as a state, something that I have believed in from the earliest time I was aware of the state. Despite all of my brainwashing as a child in temple, something seemed rotten in the state of Israel from the very beginning. My holocaust survivor grandmother, unfortunatly, FREAKED OUT. She is now not speaking to either us. She says she feels as if someone punched her in the face.
I only feel sadness because despite my optimism I see that this world is farther away from peace and love than it has ever been. I hate that my people are so blind that they kill innocents on their holiday. The Seven Years War, on Passover, was basically the equivalent of this. We are no better than the murderers we accuse- warmongering animals trying to survive, instead of a human and beautiful people that we have the potential to be. We have the ability to be the most humane of all- forever hunted and wiped out- but we are acting like fools and I am ashamed.
If that wasn't bad enough, we got a Wii and my mom and I were playing DDR all last night. I wake up this morning to find that the military is going to use Wii technology to create little 'killbots.'
Let's all sing the Doom Song....
I know people are good....
I only wish they weren't equally evil, at a time when they are supposed to feel love.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
POP THE KRIS SAN FRANCISCO!!
I'm a comin' home!!!!Apparently its been pretty cold.IM SO EXCITED!!! It's been 80 out here for...oh yeah, every day now.Soon I'll have scarves and boots and mittens ...and all of you lovely people.I'll be home from the 20th-6th, SO PLEASE LETS HANG OUT!!808-554-0649.xxxrach
In other words, Allygator's b-day party freaking rocked. I sang "God Only Knows," "99 Problems," and "Love is a Battlefield," as well as an AMAZING version of "Take Your Momma Out!" I LOVE KAREOKE AND WILL MISS IT MUCHLY.
ALOHA xxx
In other words, Allygator's b-day party freaking rocked. I sang "God Only Knows," "99 Problems," and "Love is a Battlefield," as well as an AMAZING version of "Take Your Momma Out!" I LOVE KAREOKE AND WILL MISS IT MUCHLY.
ALOHA xxx
Monday, December 15, 2008
My band on the Radio Tonight!!
Nightmare Drum Song is joining the legions of Oahu bands on Monday Night Live this very eve.
Nine o clock Oahu time.
Listen to us at www.ktuh.org
In other news, I saw Milk and I loved the rioting scene in Twin Peaks. I am uber nostalgic but this made more so. I never used to get served in there, not possesing a penis, but Glenn and David always served me up some good Midori sours.
I'll be home soon.
Oahu is my second home, but San Francisco will always be primary.
Nine o clock Oahu time.
Listen to us at www.ktuh.org
In other news, I saw Milk and I loved the rioting scene in Twin Peaks. I am uber nostalgic but this made more so. I never used to get served in there, not possesing a penis, but Glenn and David always served me up some good Midori sours.
I'll be home soon.
Oahu is my second home, but San Francisco will always be primary.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
End of the (School) Year Musings...
It's not quite time for the New Years stuff yet, but on this beautiful tropical stormy day in Oahu, I think I'll ruminate for a bit.
This year has probably been the most difficult of my entire life.
I've faced a debilitating illness, stress beyond measure, and personal goals to fulfill in order to achieve my long-sought after dream of a psychology career.
I think I have grown considerably as a psychologist, and as a woman.
Before this year I never really stopped to muse on where my life was going. I was anxious about it, of course, and always ready to move on to the next stage, but really I was running.
Running and running and running from myself, from my fears about my own self-efficacy.
This year I've had to face these fears head on.
I think, in many ways, I have succeeded. My projects are all doing well, and though the threat of funding being cut always looms in the distance, I think I will have a good paper/poster yet by March.
My health has its ups and downs, but I continue to see an improvement in my coping responses, which I think is wonderful.
I have seen a huge increase in my pride and self-esteem regaurding my overall life.
Although Glenn is moving in (and I couldn't be happier!!!) I have reduced my dependence on people and am allowing myself room to grow as a woman, rather than always relying on others.
My music has shown a great deal of improvement on the synths!!
In general, I believe that life has given me many challenges, but that I have proved myself worthy to face them all.
As the school year ends, I know I have truly done well, and for the first time all year, I am truly proud.
This year has probably been the most difficult of my entire life.
I've faced a debilitating illness, stress beyond measure, and personal goals to fulfill in order to achieve my long-sought after dream of a psychology career.
I think I have grown considerably as a psychologist, and as a woman.
Before this year I never really stopped to muse on where my life was going. I was anxious about it, of course, and always ready to move on to the next stage, but really I was running.
Running and running and running from myself, from my fears about my own self-efficacy.
This year I've had to face these fears head on.
I think, in many ways, I have succeeded. My projects are all doing well, and though the threat of funding being cut always looms in the distance, I think I will have a good paper/poster yet by March.
My health has its ups and downs, but I continue to see an improvement in my coping responses, which I think is wonderful.
I have seen a huge increase in my pride and self-esteem regaurding my overall life.
Although Glenn is moving in (and I couldn't be happier!!!) I have reduced my dependence on people and am allowing myself room to grow as a woman, rather than always relying on others.
My music has shown a great deal of improvement on the synths!!
In general, I believe that life has given me many challenges, but that I have proved myself worthy to face them all.
As the school year ends, I know I have truly done well, and for the first time all year, I am truly proud.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
MENOMENA!!!!
At last, a show in Honolulu that made it worth the 20 dolla.
Fantastic!
Every song was magical, their syllables rolled off tounges sparlking with electricity and yet complete groundedness in the sound that each was creating.
I loved "Friend and Foe," but live it truly was a different experience.
Each song seemed to be full of new meaning, especially "Boyscout'n" which nearly made me break down and cry. The keyboards got turned up to make each lovely note shine harder. I love the lyrics to that song more than any other, and understand the Judas Iscariot imagry mixed with any old feeling of betrayal, whether it be by one's government, or one's best friend.
Maybe the true meaning is all of these mixed together.
All my friends were there and we gathered in a giant ball at the stage- Ryan, Allison, and Matt especially jumping along beside me.
I felt a part of something.
This is the power of music, and I don't care if its a hideous cliche.
Fantastic!
Every song was magical, their syllables rolled off tounges sparlking with electricity and yet complete groundedness in the sound that each was creating.
I loved "Friend and Foe," but live it truly was a different experience.
Each song seemed to be full of new meaning, especially "Boyscout'n" which nearly made me break down and cry. The keyboards got turned up to make each lovely note shine harder. I love the lyrics to that song more than any other, and understand the Judas Iscariot imagry mixed with any old feeling of betrayal, whether it be by one's government, or one's best friend.
Maybe the true meaning is all of these mixed together.
All my friends were there and we gathered in a giant ball at the stage- Ryan, Allison, and Matt especially jumping along beside me.
I felt a part of something.
This is the power of music, and I don't care if its a hideous cliche.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Press the Lever, Get the Pellet.
Today in neuropsychology we spoke of substance abuse, a field that has always fascinated me greatly.
Did you know that rats will self-administer cocaine til death?
What I didn't know was that all lever presses have a 'breaking point,' where its not worse the number of presses to get the reward.
With most substances of abuse the number eddied out at about 300.
It made me wonder what my breaking point was.
How much work and pain will I go through to get that one scrap of paper in my hands??
Way more than this, I'd wager.
The reinforcement stakes are so great that I'd probably work myself silly to get what I want... is this what life is?
One giant delayed-reinforcement paradigm?
I think Skinner may have had it more right than you think when he hit upon the fact that all human nature is essentially created. We may have a biological predisposition towards certain characterisitcs, but the enviornment all but molds them for us.
This is what Phil Zimbardo speaks of in his book "The Lucifer Effect," when he speaks of situational morality and its effects on others. Did Jim Jones really intend for the People's Temple to fall? Was he a doomed man or did his situation corrupt him beyond measure?
I suppose we shall never really know, but its questions like these that make psychology worth studying for me.
Did you know that rats will self-administer cocaine til death?
What I didn't know was that all lever presses have a 'breaking point,' where its not worse the number of presses to get the reward.
With most substances of abuse the number eddied out at about 300.
It made me wonder what my breaking point was.
How much work and pain will I go through to get that one scrap of paper in my hands??
Way more than this, I'd wager.
The reinforcement stakes are so great that I'd probably work myself silly to get what I want... is this what life is?
One giant delayed-reinforcement paradigm?
I think Skinner may have had it more right than you think when he hit upon the fact that all human nature is essentially created. We may have a biological predisposition towards certain characterisitcs, but the enviornment all but molds them for us.
This is what Phil Zimbardo speaks of in his book "The Lucifer Effect," when he speaks of situational morality and its effects on others. Did Jim Jones really intend for the People's Temple to fall? Was he a doomed man or did his situation corrupt him beyond measure?
I suppose we shall never really know, but its questions like these that make psychology worth studying for me.
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