At last, a show in Honolulu that made it worth the 20 dolla.
Fantastic!
Every song was magical, their syllables rolled off tounges sparlking with electricity and yet complete groundedness in the sound that each was creating.
I loved "Friend and Foe," but live it truly was a different experience.
Each song seemed to be full of new meaning, especially "Boyscout'n" which nearly made me break down and cry. The keyboards got turned up to make each lovely note shine harder. I love the lyrics to that song more than any other, and understand the Judas Iscariot imagry mixed with any old feeling of betrayal, whether it be by one's government, or one's best friend.
Maybe the true meaning is all of these mixed together.
All my friends were there and we gathered in a giant ball at the stage- Ryan, Allison, and Matt especially jumping along beside me.
I felt a part of something.
This is the power of music, and I don't care if its a hideous cliche.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Press the Lever, Get the Pellet.
Today in neuropsychology we spoke of substance abuse, a field that has always fascinated me greatly.
Did you know that rats will self-administer cocaine til death?
What I didn't know was that all lever presses have a 'breaking point,' where its not worse the number of presses to get the reward.
With most substances of abuse the number eddied out at about 300.
It made me wonder what my breaking point was.
How much work and pain will I go through to get that one scrap of paper in my hands??
Way more than this, I'd wager.
The reinforcement stakes are so great that I'd probably work myself silly to get what I want... is this what life is?
One giant delayed-reinforcement paradigm?
I think Skinner may have had it more right than you think when he hit upon the fact that all human nature is essentially created. We may have a biological predisposition towards certain characterisitcs, but the enviornment all but molds them for us.
This is what Phil Zimbardo speaks of in his book "The Lucifer Effect," when he speaks of situational morality and its effects on others. Did Jim Jones really intend for the People's Temple to fall? Was he a doomed man or did his situation corrupt him beyond measure?
I suppose we shall never really know, but its questions like these that make psychology worth studying for me.
Did you know that rats will self-administer cocaine til death?
What I didn't know was that all lever presses have a 'breaking point,' where its not worse the number of presses to get the reward.
With most substances of abuse the number eddied out at about 300.
It made me wonder what my breaking point was.
How much work and pain will I go through to get that one scrap of paper in my hands??
Way more than this, I'd wager.
The reinforcement stakes are so great that I'd probably work myself silly to get what I want... is this what life is?
One giant delayed-reinforcement paradigm?
I think Skinner may have had it more right than you think when he hit upon the fact that all human nature is essentially created. We may have a biological predisposition towards certain characterisitcs, but the enviornment all but molds them for us.
This is what Phil Zimbardo speaks of in his book "The Lucifer Effect," when he speaks of situational morality and its effects on others. Did Jim Jones really intend for the People's Temple to fall? Was he a doomed man or did his situation corrupt him beyond measure?
I suppose we shall never really know, but its questions like these that make psychology worth studying for me.
Monday, November 17, 2008
...Grad School Trauma Slowly Sets In!
These past couple weeks have been busy.
Really, really, REALLY busy.
The new house is lovely, my flatmates and I are getting along really well, which always makes me happy.
My health is improving, sloooowly but surely. I feel like physical therapy is getting me down the right track, even though it is tough at times to do the exercises.
But sadly, if it isn't one thing it's another, and right now its GRAD SCHOOL!
After recovering from one huge bastard of a presentation I now have another one on Thursday, and then a midterm on Friday!!
Mom was right when she said I would never work so hard in my life.
In addittion I've got the office, and pleasing my academic supervisor, and getting my data in on time.
Wish me luck, people, Decemeber never seemed so far away.
XO,
Rach
Really, really, REALLY busy.
The new house is lovely, my flatmates and I are getting along really well, which always makes me happy.
My health is improving, sloooowly but surely. I feel like physical therapy is getting me down the right track, even though it is tough at times to do the exercises.
But sadly, if it isn't one thing it's another, and right now its GRAD SCHOOL!
After recovering from one huge bastard of a presentation I now have another one on Thursday, and then a midterm on Friday!!
Mom was right when she said I would never work so hard in my life.
In addittion I've got the office, and pleasing my academic supervisor, and getting my data in on time.
Wish me luck, people, Decemeber never seemed so far away.
XO,
Rach
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The 'Morning After' Post
We made history.
For once, American action triumphed over apathy.
In other news, Prop 8 passed in California, which means no more gay marriage (again.)
Let's hope the supreme court has more sense than we do!!
I'll leave you with some words more eloquent than mine.... louder than the car horns in the mission which Glenn told me were going off like siren (though none were to be heard in the Honolulu streets, and for a local boy as well!)....
"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.
It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.
It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled--Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.
It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.
It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America. "- President Elect Barack Obama
It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.
It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled--Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.
It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.
It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America. "- President Elect Barack Obama
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The Move Begins...
"And you will find yourself in a beautiful house... and you will ask yourself 'How did I get here?'"
I love that line so much, in fact even when I didn't like the Talking Heads (many a moon ago) that line seemed to stick with me.
Along the generally good advice of friends and therapists that I shouldn't be on my own, brooding, in this lovely state of Hawai'i, I've decided to move to an art space.
Yes!!
Asterisk, on Mcully and Young, is one of the best art spaces in the entire city. It hosts shows, fashion events, and film nights. It houses 12 lovely people within its walls. Of these people, I've come to know Justin, Charlie, Sarah, and Kate extremely well. It was they who invited me to come stay with them, and I was only too delighted to say yes. I currently stay on Dole St, in a lovely but lonely and quiet (not to mention expensive) house. When I'm home I feel worse than when I'm out... and that's always a good indicator that a space isn't working out. I've always had to try to find spaces that fit me, people that I fit with... and sometimes I think I've had to look harder than some.
For me, a home represents Ohana... a family. I don't like to be solitary for too long. When I want to write songs or do work I'll throw on headphones... but I don't like to sleep without noise, without words. I love the feelings of community that living with others brings. I just hope that Asterisk will be everything that I was looking for, until Glenn arrives and we begin our era of domestic bliss... here's hoping.
We're having a Thriller halloween party, and I am SO looking forward to showing my She-Ra costume to the world! My mom said it was 'appropriate.' Maybe I've always dreamed of being a superhero, a noble person that helps and saves others. Attending to myself always seemed blase.
In other news, the Obama bike rally went amazingly well, and was NOT shut down by the Honolulu police! I went all out and Obama-mized my bike with many, many stickers. I recall when I was a child I always wanted to have a ' sticker car,' so adorned with stickers that one couldn't even see the paint. On Saturday, leading the pack ten miles to the capitol while drivers honked and cheered, I felt as close to that dream as I've ever been.
The election is coming up. VOTE. VOTE. VOTE. Don't let your words go unheeded, your thoughts go unrepresented. We're all in this together, whether we like it or not. And despite all the media and the trash, there's something about this strange little country that I still love. In fact, I've never been so proud to be an American than during this election. In Edinburgh, I was always so ashamed that sometimes I faked a Scottish accent just to make things easier (not to mention get me an overdraft at the bank.) Now, I don't think I would ever be so decieving to others or to myself.
All meandering aside, it's been a good week... two Bs on two seperate midterms and making new connections and friendships... here's to an awesome Halloween.
XO
I love that line so much, in fact even when I didn't like the Talking Heads (many a moon ago) that line seemed to stick with me.
Along the generally good advice of friends and therapists that I shouldn't be on my own, brooding, in this lovely state of Hawai'i, I've decided to move to an art space.
Yes!!
Asterisk, on Mcully and Young, is one of the best art spaces in the entire city. It hosts shows, fashion events, and film nights. It houses 12 lovely people within its walls. Of these people, I've come to know Justin, Charlie, Sarah, and Kate extremely well. It was they who invited me to come stay with them, and I was only too delighted to say yes. I currently stay on Dole St, in a lovely but lonely and quiet (not to mention expensive) house. When I'm home I feel worse than when I'm out... and that's always a good indicator that a space isn't working out. I've always had to try to find spaces that fit me, people that I fit with... and sometimes I think I've had to look harder than some.
For me, a home represents Ohana... a family. I don't like to be solitary for too long. When I want to write songs or do work I'll throw on headphones... but I don't like to sleep without noise, without words. I love the feelings of community that living with others brings. I just hope that Asterisk will be everything that I was looking for, until Glenn arrives and we begin our era of domestic bliss... here's hoping.
We're having a Thriller halloween party, and I am SO looking forward to showing my She-Ra costume to the world! My mom said it was 'appropriate.' Maybe I've always dreamed of being a superhero, a noble person that helps and saves others. Attending to myself always seemed blase.
In other news, the Obama bike rally went amazingly well, and was NOT shut down by the Honolulu police! I went all out and Obama-mized my bike with many, many stickers. I recall when I was a child I always wanted to have a ' sticker car,' so adorned with stickers that one couldn't even see the paint. On Saturday, leading the pack ten miles to the capitol while drivers honked and cheered, I felt as close to that dream as I've ever been.
The election is coming up. VOTE. VOTE. VOTE. Don't let your words go unheeded, your thoughts go unrepresented. We're all in this together, whether we like it or not. And despite all the media and the trash, there's something about this strange little country that I still love. In fact, I've never been so proud to be an American than during this election. In Edinburgh, I was always so ashamed that sometimes I faked a Scottish accent just to make things easier (not to mention get me an overdraft at the bank.) Now, I don't think I would ever be so decieving to others or to myself.
All meandering aside, it's been a good week... two Bs on two seperate midterms and making new connections and friendships... here's to an awesome Halloween.
XO
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Physician, Heal Thyself!!
Wow.
Just.... wow.
It has been a truly crazy month.
So those of you that know me know that I've been struggling with my health, trying to figure out exactly what is wrong with my kidneys/urology system.
Turns out I finally know what it is... I have an autoimmune disorder!
It seems that more and more people are getting them these days ;)
The amazing thing is, that due to the stress of moving + grad school, I got a really bad case and it explains just about everything that's happened to me, why I've been in hospital, and why I haven't been up to see all of you lovely Honolulu folk.
The amazing thing, all I had to do was change my diet. This past week I have been in no pain whatsoever. I cut out caffeine, citrus fruits, alchohol, tobacco, and anything acidic. I started taking supplements such as calcium citrate and magnesium. Within a week my symptoms have gone down to zero.
I think sometimes I just need to listen to my body. I'm a bit of a stubborn type, and like to think I can make this vessel do whatver I want, like some sort of robot. But sometimes it reminds me that its not invincible.
Strange getting older, isn't it??
In other news, school is going very well and I've passed two midterms. Musically NightMare Drum Song needs more shows... so add us please! www.myspace.com/nightmaredrumsong.
Last night I watched a John Cassavetes film called 'Woman under the Influence.' I think it is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. Afterwards I went to Bar 39 to see Eyes and Ears. The whole band came out and we danced. It was so good to be surrounded by friends and film and music... makes me realize that more socializing and less stressing will be wonderful for me... minus the booze of course ;)
Shoots.
Just.... wow.
It has been a truly crazy month.
So those of you that know me know that I've been struggling with my health, trying to figure out exactly what is wrong with my kidneys/urology system.
Turns out I finally know what it is... I have an autoimmune disorder!
It seems that more and more people are getting them these days ;)
The amazing thing is, that due to the stress of moving + grad school, I got a really bad case and it explains just about everything that's happened to me, why I've been in hospital, and why I haven't been up to see all of you lovely Honolulu folk.
The amazing thing, all I had to do was change my diet. This past week I have been in no pain whatsoever. I cut out caffeine, citrus fruits, alchohol, tobacco, and anything acidic. I started taking supplements such as calcium citrate and magnesium. Within a week my symptoms have gone down to zero.
I think sometimes I just need to listen to my body. I'm a bit of a stubborn type, and like to think I can make this vessel do whatver I want, like some sort of robot. But sometimes it reminds me that its not invincible.
Strange getting older, isn't it??
In other news, school is going very well and I've passed two midterms. Musically NightMare Drum Song needs more shows... so add us please! www.myspace.com/nightmaredrumsong.
Last night I watched a John Cassavetes film called 'Woman under the Influence.' I think it is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. Afterwards I went to Bar 39 to see Eyes and Ears. The whole band came out and we danced. It was so good to be surrounded by friends and film and music... makes me realize that more socializing and less stressing will be wonderful for me... minus the booze of course ;)
Shoots.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
I Left My Heart... Well, You Know.
Week in San Francisco has come to a blissful end.
I was sick, like in the ER, but it was totally worth it.
I will not bore you with the details of this....instead let me regale you of howmy awesome filmmaker boyfriend Glenn showed the 'Pink Movie,' a short experimental film that turns heads, to say the least, at the 'Art Space' of 17th and Capp.
We went to the top of Buena Vista Park and I finally bought 'Hackers.' It's amazing how much you miss Ameoba when you haven't set foot in a record shop in six weeks!
I saw my parents and was spoiled muchly by their love and affection.
I smothered my boy with the same. I can't believe how lucky I am to have him.
And in other totally awesome news, my Master's thesis from Edinburgh was approved for Hawai'i so now I will get out of this program in four years instead of six!!!!
Not like I don't love Hawai'i Nei but.... sometimes I truly miss my home.
Hack The Planet,
Rach xx
I was sick, like in the ER, but it was totally worth it.
I will not bore you with the details of this....instead let me regale you of howmy awesome filmmaker boyfriend Glenn showed the 'Pink Movie,' a short experimental film that turns heads, to say the least, at the 'Art Space' of 17th and Capp.
We went to the top of Buena Vista Park and I finally bought 'Hackers.' It's amazing how much you miss Ameoba when you haven't set foot in a record shop in six weeks!
I saw my parents and was spoiled muchly by their love and affection.
I smothered my boy with the same. I can't believe how lucky I am to have him.
And in other totally awesome news, my Master's thesis from Edinburgh was approved for Hawai'i so now I will get out of this program in four years instead of six!!!!
Not like I don't love Hawai'i Nei but.... sometimes I truly miss my home.
Hack The Planet,
Rach xx
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