Big Islanding with Porn!

Aloha All,

I just had the most awesome weekend ever with my best friend, Poornima Muralidhur, my sister and travel buddy extrordinaire. Our destination of choice for 2011 was none other than the Big Island of Hawaii! We saw Akaka falls in Hilo, and then went to the very top of Mauna Kea for Thanksgiving! 33,500 feet up, and all of the clouds looked like a lake, with the top of the nearby volcano seeming like an island! It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen, and my eyes teared up at its beauty. After we stayed at the beautiful Royal Kona Resort, where we got to swim in their lagoon and do morning yoga as we watched the sunrise. For the next day it was off to Kona where we found Hapuna beach (after being lost twice) and visited the beautiful black sands beach of Punalu'u! (Even better than the Oahu Punalu'u). We also visited Volcanoes national park, where I saw a real live volcano! Then we went to Kalapana, where the lava flow met a town, and saw the beautiful floes as they cut through the rocks. That night was Modern Lovers back in Oahu, where we listened to Sleigh Bells and DyE with Davey and Andrew. The next day we went with Ross and Portland Christian down to the Hawaii Kai Blowhole! I actually jumped in the tidepools, which felt exhilirating after being housebound for three months after my foot broke. On the last day Porn and I actually went surfing. Yes, Rachael successfully mounted a surfboard! It was an amazing feeling to actually catch a wave, and the buzz is quite addicting. (I'm thinking of maybe joining a surf club or something before internship). We went standup paddleboarding as well, and Porn showed me the ropes (although I tired quickly). We watched "Happy-Go-Lucky" and spoke along to the "En-ra-ha, Poppy," parts the whole time. As I watched her go I felt such a joy that I had been able to experience another side of Hawaii after being housebound/showbound/etc for the past couple of months. It felt like a beautiful new start...and I hope the feeling lasts.

Love.

Understanding....

It's been hard for me to come to this point.

I feel finally ready to move on with my life and finish my PhD.

What's been holding me back has not been events, people, or external circumstances at all.

I want to move forward.

I want to do the best I can to get out of school next year, get out of Hawaii, and start my new life.

I'm ready now.

Broke mah foot....

It hurts still! Have to wear a cast for 8 weeks. At least I can kick people with my awesome ski boot :D

Teaching Feedback....

Once again, I find myself floored by undergraduates and how much they like my class (blushes). Some comments from my survey: "This professor cannot improve, she is so awesome," "Her knowledge of the material far exceeded that of most professors I've had." Several loved my discussion of treatments with patients. I feel so blessed that I can impart my treatment knowledge to people, as well as helping them gain understanding of psychopathology. Go me!

Cheeseball Moment....

Gonna be cheesy and say this: I'm so lucky to live in Hawaii and I have the most talented, intelligent and sweet friends. You guys make grad school *almost* bearable.

Thank you.

Last Behaviorists show....

So my good friend Susan Lin and I had been playing together in a little project known as The Behaviorists. (http://thebehaviorists.bandcamp.com) It was lovely to have another psychologist in a band with me, and we played a lot of shows together. Last night was our last show as a band. Looking back on the project I feel a great fondness for what we had been through together. We'd played with Julia, Margot, Richard (another psychologist), Hilary, and finally Ahnate. We'd see so many people come and go, including Jake Aesthete who recorded our EP, which is still hanging around at the KTUH station!

Still, even the best projects have to end sometime, and as the new school year begins I know I have to focus on my PhD. Susan does too, as she gears up for internship. Still, it's amazing that I had the opportunity to play shows in Hawaii with my own material. I'm proud of myself for being so brave and showcasing my talent without hiding behind any real 'effects' to speak of.

Still, in the next project to come (The Radge) my goal is to learn Ableton!

Wish me luck!

A Rare Musical Post....

On this blog, anyway.

http://vimeo.com/24715862

"I knew this kid who wanted to find himself in your eyes..."

The End and The Beginning....

Summer's end nearing....it feels like change is on the horizon. I truly hope the next school year brings challenges, joy, and a dissertation proposal success. I am coming to the end of my classes and the beginning of research. I am frightened, and worry that I will not be able to make it as a scientist-practitioner. However, I know that if I truly push myself to do good work, and do not allow myself to get overcomitted and careless, then I will certainly succeed.

Change is hard and I have dealt with it in maladaptive ways for most of my life. These strategies worked at the time but they no longer suffice. I need to be OK with the anxiety of science and allow myself to master it without aid or distraction.

Wish me luck.

End of the Summer Accomplishments!

Last day of lectures. Got some applause from a wonderful class. One comps requirement DOWN!

Photos of this Year....

http://www.flickr.com/frontierpsychrach

Teaching....

I feel incredibly grateful to be teaching Abnormal Psychology again this summer. I really connect to students and I get such positive feedback. I'm feeling especially lucky to have a fun group this year, consisting of actors, musicians, and physical therapy students. One of them even said I was an inspiration to them for studying Serious Mental Illness.

SMI til I die, yo.

...Fear Gone!

Played our last show last night. So many people came out to support our music and it was beautiful. Felt like an appropriate end. I know I will succeed in both making a quality record and getting my PhD...feels like a productive time in my life is about to begin. I feel ready for the future to arrive.

Growing Older....

Feeling quite reflective today: almost 28. Feeling good about what the future holds. Proud of my past accomplishments. Time moves forward and us with it, until the end. I want to move forward this year, and get out of school forever. Bring it.

SF + POPFEST 2011!

Aloha All,

My updates on this blog are completely sporadic and it appears to be becoming something of a Travelogue....with this in mind, I'd like to update y'all on my trip to San Francisco!
Excess began early on this trip with a child-size Ralph Lauren dress that I actually bought in the airport. (It's gorgeous, so please don't hate.)I flew in, touched down, threw my stuff in a small motel and high-tailed it over to the Rickshaw Stop! It was time for SF Popfest, a very unique brand of the UK festival run by Deborah Bard and other lovely people. First on the night was Blackbird Blackbird. I was immediatley blown away by how amazing he was. With only a laptop and a live drummer, he managed to conjure sounds that were at once ethereal and immediate. I loved his set and was dancing like a fiend, which my friend Jake later dubbed as "hilarious." The drinks at the Rickshaw Stop are strong indeed, and it wasn't long til I was feeling like I was on vacation "proper."
Next day we headed to MOMA, where the permanent collection was as lovely as ever. There were also a fiew short video pieces that I thought were amazing. I met up with my folks for Teatro Zinzanni, a cute little circus + dinner act. This cast was made special with the addition of Rebekkah Del Rio, the singer from Lynch film "Mullholland Drive!" She actually sang "Llorando" (a cover of the Roy Orbison song 'Crying') right to our table! Amazing. After that we went to go see Dominant Legs, which features members of the band Girls. They were great and we actually got to meet them after the show, which was lovely. I missed the Motifs, which were apparently the highlight act of the night, but I fully intend to catch them again in the future.
I met up with my friend Glenn's old friends, Teva and Anne Marie, who put me up for the night. In the morning we went to the Alemany Farmer's Market! It was amazing, complete with a woman with an actual 'singing saw', as well as a steel drummer. It was also huge and the fruit selection was amazing. (This reminded me of how much I really need to start going to the KCC Market more often, as I too usually neglect fresh fruit in favor of coffee + muffins.) Super fun! That night I saw Melted Toys, the Mantles and the Undertones at the Rickshaw Stop. Melted Toys were amazing, and their beautiful melodic guitar work left me breathless. The lead singer can really sing as well, and the effects on the vocals only added to the "we are singing in a cave" acoustics! The Mantles were OK, a little blah for what I expected, but the Undertones were amazing. They still sounded as good as ever! I felt very grateful to have caught that show, for who knows when those guys will tour again?
An easy Saturday followed. I went to the De Young and saw more of their permanent collection. I watched "The Room," at the Red Vic, which included hilarious audience particpation, such as throwing spoons when there was a picture of a spoon. I hung out with long-time friend Candace in Oakland and had a great time watching Candy Darling and walking on Lake Merrit. On Sunday it was time to see the Beets, Catwalk, Seapony, and Eternal Summers! I met up with my friend Glenn and had a very spicy Pho dinner before heading to the Hemlock. Sadly we had missed Seapony. Catwalk were quite good. The Beets were somewhat irritating, in terms of a "Moldy Peaches-esque" vibe that somehow only the Moldy Peaches ever really pulled off well. I did like their lights, however, and the banner which read "The Beets: I'd rather watch paint dry." I expect to see more from them in the future. Eternal Summers were amazing. Their lead guitarist can play faster than any woman or man I've ever seen. She shredded and all just gaped in amazement.
For Memorial Day it was back to the East Bay. My girlfriend from high school, Amy and I, hung out in Walnut Creek and watched Labyrinth. It made me realize just how much I miss her, and makes me so glad that we've kept in touch over the years. Mom, Elliot and I had a wonderful dinner and caught up about everything. I can't wait til the days that I'm a wee bit closer to my family again, as I love them dearly.
Tuesday night hanging out with my high school friend Stephanie at the Bean Bag Cafe on Divis, which I still dearly love. Afterwards was Neon Indian and Sleigh Bells! I was totally unprepared for Neon Indian's amazing live set-up, which even included a theramin. It was noise-pop at its best, with most of the music being created completely live as well as the drummer playing to a track. It was gorgeousness and gorgeousity.... excellent show. Sleigh Bells were an interesting live watch, and certainly the loudest act I've ever seen. Up in the front row, Jake and I twisted our earpieces in to attempt to "listen," and this is not something I would do for any band. However, when I saw over 15 miked-up amps on stage, I figured this was a good idea. Alexis Kraus is a gorgeous woman, and her snake-hipped dancing made me as amped-up as the next bro, however the live show overall left something to be desired. For other acts that play similarly, such as Crystal Castles or Glass Candy, I felt that the vocals were better. Alexis seemed to be relying on backing tracks so much that I didn't really feel she was singing, and the guitarist seemed to actually be tuned down a bit. Jake described it as "somewhat metal, somewhat hip-hop, somewhat strip club" and this seemed to described the overall crowd's reaction as well. Still, it has to be said that it wasn't dull! I met up with Nate (GRLFRNDS) and his girlfriend for a pint on Divisadero, which was nice having a touch of Hawaii all the way out in San Francisco.
Last days in the city were with one of my best friends, Brian Darr, known for his amazing film blog hellonfriscobay.blogspot.com. All of you should check it out if interested in movies! Jake, Brian and I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge on our last day there. The weather was beautiful and not as biting cold as it had been. I found myself looking out to Tiburon, and the Marin Headlands, and looking foward to the days that I can cycle out there once again. (I used to cycle to Mount Tamalpais twice a month.) We went to Noc Noc, where I got a pint of actual Snakebite (a drink I used to make back in Edinburgh, what seems like ages ago) and talked about films pretty much for 24 hours straight. We saw "Boom" at the Castro, a Tennessee Williams adaptation that took all the fun out of the dialouge and delivered it through some sort of Qualude-Haze. Everyone involved seemed to be somewhat ashamed to be there, especially the stars Richard Burton and Liz Taylor, who I didn't know had been married twice! Well, the chemistry certainly wasn't apparent from the film :D
All in the all, the trip was so much fun, and the best kind of a vacation for me. I love culture, nature, and friends and this trip had all three. I can't wait til I'm headed back to the West Coast again. Til then, I suppose it's possible I'll update again, but it's dissertation time if I'm ever going to get off the rock!

Aloha For Now,

Rach